For those of you earnestly searching the internet, please note that there is no furniture made of driftwood here, nor trinkets of any sort. The only driftwood is mental, and it rarely forms anything half so functional.

Nor are there goblins. I’ve been fairly careful to manage them of late, so they’re not likely to appear. Not even the email ones you seek.

There are no giraffes. At all.

There is a link to information about giraffe weevils, but they’re mentioned only incidentally, and you’re better served going to any of the many fine sites providing real info on this very cool insect. Really, everyone should take a short break and go find a picture of a giraffe weevil. Now.

There are no links to materials inappropriate for the general reader. The waterfall on the About Me page is really just a waterfall. And for those of you who might have known me in high school, there are many many women in the world named Jennifer Mason, and I am not the one who grew up to work in the adult film industry.

For the person stuck in the past with dialup–I totally understand.

And for the person who came looking for the story about the talking silver teapot–it’s awesome! I hope that was the one you were looking for, because it’s one of my favorites.

I’m delighted that you’ve all stopped by, and I sincerely hope you find what you’re looking for. Do come again someday.